But My Spouse is Weird!

Right out of college, I worked for a “real character!” His name was Mike and, while we loved him, he was unique—to say the least. He was a consummate professional and executive with some eccentric twists.

For instance, he had a giant bib with “Let’s get Mikey, he’ll eat anything” printed on it. That was based on an old Life Cereal commercial. We’d be out with a client for lunch, like J&J or Kodak execs and, right before the meal was served, Mike would pop the bib out of his pocket and place it over his tie. It was always good for a laugh, but he wasn’t being funny…

Then there were the power naps. We’d be headed to the Newark airport to catch a plane and he’d just pull off on the shoulder and say, “I need a nap.” He’d put his head back and immediately crash. Ten minutes to the second, he’d pop up, stretch, and say—“Yeah—that’s better!” Then, we’d pull out and continue our journey. I would just stare out the window for 10 minutes till he “came back.”

One other quirk I remember was the “Silver Boot Award.” When one of us would screw-up, he’d present this honor to us in a loud crashing ceremony. It was a silver painted boot on a plaque and it represented Mike’s desire to kick us in the butt for making a big mistake. We always knew when it was coming because he’d slam open his door and scream, “Where’s the Boot!!!???”

Never a dull moment….

But here’s the thing. I learned things from that man that have shaped my life and career for decades. I appreciate and value our friendship which continues to this day. I’ve learned that, when it comes to personality and behavioral “quirks,” you can either love them or hate them. They can either endear you to the person or drive you apart.

The choice is yours.

A lesson for marriage

The same is true for couples. Your partner’s style and habits can either drive you apart or draw you together. I’ve noted as a counselor that the very things which draw couples together–“opposites attract”–can unfortunately become the basis for separation later.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

I love to pass on the advice of Pastor Gary Smalley, author of the book, “Love is a Decision.” Gary says we simply need to “value the differences.” See the synergy and even the humor in the things that are unique about our partner. That’s something we can choose and thus learn to do.

If you’d like help in “valuing the differences,” please contact us. We’d be honored to help. You can reach us by calling or texting 860-938-2725 or emailing office@rissingerrg.com.


Pastor Joel

2 thoughts on “But My Spouse is Weird!”

  1. I guess the ole saying is true

    Marriage/dating isn’t for everyone, I say that because after reading
    this blog. It’s clear, We live more/more in a society that wants of the
    best pieces of candy. Leaving the rest for the others to rummage thru
    when they’re done

    I find that sad that we’ve become a Hallmark channel movie
    on love. especially when the vow of Fore better/worse, Sickness
    and health, Till death do us part! has so much more to show us
    but all we want is the cake and eat it to

    1. Sad commentary, but there still are great Christian folks out there who want to find the right person and marry for life. My prayer is that you’ll find one of those someday. Blessings, PJ

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