How Do I Make My Marriage Last?

I worked security in college and had an awesome boss. He was an ex-Texas Ranger and when they say, “One riot—one ranger.” I totally get it. Lee Stolley was his name and he was T-O-U-G-H, tough! Loved him though…He was fair and fought for his men, so we were all completely loyal to him.

I remember one incident that illustrates his toughness. We had a drunk guy on campus that was threatening to cause trouble. Lee calmed him down, but the guy was then ready to climb into his truck and drive home. He was in NO condition to drive. Lee stealthily slipped the keys out of the ignition while trying to talk him out of driving, but the guy suddenly grabbed the ignition to start the truck, and found that the keys were gone…


He slammed the door into Lee and jumped to his feet. He was easily a foot taller and probably 50 pounds heavier, but that didn’t matter. Lee was on him like Tar Baby on Briar Rabbit and soon had him in a choke hold from behind. He was yelling to my coworker, “Mace him Louis—hit him with the mace!!”

Louis Bergin, the other guard, was in his late 60’s and moved at the speed of frozen molasses. He looked like Yoda from Star Wars, but that’s where the comparison stopped. He slowly took out his mace canister, waved it around trying to aim carefully, and when he finally “let ‘er rip,” the suspect ducked and Lee Stolley took a direct hit to the face and eyes.

Now gagging and blind as a bat, Lee was completely off the ground and on the back of this 260 pound, angry drunk who, like a wild bull at the rodeo, was trying to fling him off his back. Didn’t matter. Lee hung on, tightened his choke hold, and eventually subdued and cuffed the guy.

Perseverance…that’s the word I would use. Lee Stolley was a pit bull when it came to wrestling a perp, protecting his men, or just completing an “everyday task.” I just wish most married couples I know had this same tenacity.

I know that conventional wisdom requires that we come-up with a magic cure or technique to ensure marriage longevity. The truth however, is that what it really takes is just a heavy dose of perseverance. One, or preferably both, partner(s) saying, “I’ll make this thing work or die trying!”

How do you develop that?

Well, that’s at least in part what we do at Christian Marriage Mentor. If you’d like coaching or other tools to help you develop that tenaciousness, please contact us using the link above.



Pastor Joel

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