Is the Grass REALLY Greener? Is your friend’s marriage REALLY better than yours?
I played a lot of sports in college including intramural flag football on artificial turf. Our school was one of the first to get artificial turf and it was really cool…until you played on it. In other words, it looked great, was easy to maintain, and was 100% even with no potholes, bumps, etc.
So what was the problem?
Well, in those days, it was stiff. It was like thousands of little green plastic needles. Furthermore, it was mounted on a wooden platform which sat on top of a concrete underground garage. Falling on it would both bruise you and often, slice you open. I don’t mean a clean cut—like from a knife or straight edge either. No, it would burn you open like the scrapes you got on your knees or arms as a kid when you face-planted on the living room carpet at a dead run!
I remember walking into the locker room after a game and thinking I had been teleported back into a medieval torture chamber. Guys were screaming and moaning and cursing and yelling at the tops of their lungs. Often, we wouldn’t notice how raw or how numerous our wounds were until we stepped into the shower. When the hot water hit those open cuts…
So…while it looked better on the outside and seemed easy to maintain when compared to natural grass fields, our artificial turf really wasn’t a dream. For players, its was more like a nightmare.
Marriages can be like that too. I know many couples who APPEAR to have the “perfect relationship.” Still, behind the scenes, things are often difficult–even painful.
My advice is to focus on growth and improvement instead of making odious comparisons to others. Truth is, you’ll never know whether or not they have it better than you anyway. So, instead of wasting time idolizing a false image, pray for and implement changes that will bless you and your spouse.
If you’d like help and some practical questions to ask each other as a couple in order to improve your relationship, click here to get my popular book, “The Crucified Couple.” I pray it will make your grass truly greener :).